Navigating Midlife: Strength, Community, and Mental Health with Kari Goeden

This episode dives into the transformative landscape of midlife, emphasizing that this phase is not just about navigating hormonal shifts but about embracing strength, vulnerability, and community. Kari Goeden, a therapist with innovative approaches, shares insights on how women can reconnect with themselves and build supportive networks during this powerful time.

In this episode:

• The concept of midlife as the "sacred art of falling apart and coming back together"
• How hormonal changes influence mental health and emotional regulation
• The importance of sleep hygiene and routine in managing symptoms
• The role of community, such as walk-and-talk therapy, in fostering connection and healing
• Tapping into intuition and quiet reflection to find internal strength
• The significance of vulnerability and sharing experiences to normalize mental health challenges
• Practical advice: how women can prepare support systems before they need them
• The concept of "Cougar Puberty" and the empowerment of this life stage
• The impact of loneliness on physical and mental health, and how to build your support village
• Exciting initiatives: walking clubs, podcasts, and the importance of sharing wisdom across generations

Resources & Links:

• Wisewomxn Wellness — Kari’s website
• This Is Not Therapy Podcast — Hosted by Kari and Kamila

Remember that reaching out for help is a strength, not a weakness. If you or someone you know is struggling, don't hesitate to call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for immediate support. You're not alone, and help is always available. 

Transcript

Kim Benoy:

You are listening to Midlife with Courage. This month is Mental Health Awareness Month, and today's guest is Kari Goeden, a therapist from Stillwater, Minnesota. She's going to talk to us today about her unique way of helping women connect, find joy, and improve their mental health as we go through this wonderful midlife. Let's get started.

Hello everyone and welcome back to Midlife with Courage. I'm Kim Benoy, your host, and I'm so happy to have you all here. I'm also very happy to have my guest here with me today. Her name is Kari Goeden. Welcome to the podcast, Kari.

Kari Goeden:

Thank you so much. I'm excited to be here.

Kim Benoy:

You're going to be the first episode of this mental health awareness month. So I'm so excited to talk to you. So let's jump right into it. We've talked about you've talked about actually describing midlife as I love this, the sacred art of falling apart and coming back together again. How does that relate to mental health and midlife? Let's just start talking about that.

Kari Goeden:

That's a great question. Well, I think that we are kind of sold this idea that by midlife as a woman, you probably really have your stuff together, right? Like you might have a relationship, a marriage, a partnership, 2.5 kids, maybe the dream job. You've advanced in your job where you want to be. And I think that's all pretty big lie.

Kim Benoy:

You...

Kari Goeden:

So here's where the falling apart comes along. Yes, those things might be true. And there's a big and here. There are so many identity questions and identity, new identities that we're taking on in midlife that can become super overwhelming. And then you want to throw hormones on top of that. The joy that is perimenopause and menopause to send us off as emotional roller coaster and we are really holding a lot. So that's the falling apart. The coming together again is honestly, I think the biggest recipe for coming back together is community and is being vulnerable and asking for help and talking about this stuff, not keeping it to ourselves how much we're struggling, seeking out support from people in our life who are supportive and get it and maybe the help of a therapist.

Kim Benoy:

Right. Right. Right.

Kari Goeden:

Being really real, I guess, is the coming back.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah. And I love that. And our main message today is like asking for help isn't a weakness. It's a strength. There's yes, I want the listeners to hear that. Hopefully we might even say that more than once today, but, I love the sense of community because I don't know about you and the people that you work with. But when I started into the perimenopause thing, there were things happening that I had no clue what was going on and nobody was talking about it. And over time I found a community of women who, yeah, yeah, I do that too. That is amazing.

Kari Goeden:

Right. And how much weight did that take off your shoulders or how much just more normal did you feel like that? Just validating. Yes. Yes. And you know, it's great to talk to our providers about these things and involve our medical team, of course. And there is something that you just can't replace about speaking to other people who are actually in it right here, right now with you. There's something so healing about that.

Kim Benoy:

Exactly, exactly.

Kari Goeden:

Yeah, yeah.

Kim Benoy:

Right. As a therapist, how is it different? How is our mental health different in midlife than a younger woman?

Kari Goeden:

That's a really great question. Well, the emotional hormonal roller coaster I referenced earlier. So our progesterone levels are shifting, our estrogen levels are shifting and in a really unpredictable way. So that's the part that is so tricky for our nervous systems to understand. We might wake up feeling great one day and the next day it's like, I don't even feel like myself and my body. What is happening right now?

Kari Goeden:

And how progesterone and estrogen are affecting our mental health, they are such huge pieces that impact our sleep, which is the foundation of our mental health, affects our energy levels, affects our mood and our ability to regulate our moods. So I guess progesterone I want to talk about for a minute a little bit more specifically. So that's the tend and befriend hormone and that's the hormone that helps us feel calm and at ease and when that drops it really upsets everything and it makes us wonder what is happening and who are we. And so often in perimenopause and menopause, women are experiencing more anxiety and they may be a person that like this is their first real experience with anxiety. Like growing up, even through having babies and you know, potential perinatal mood shifts, never experienced anxiety until we arrive at the shifts with perimenopause and menopause.

Kim Benoy:

Hmm.

Kari Goeden:

So it can really throw you for a loop. Who am I? Back to that question of identity. I don't feel like myself.

Kim Benoy:

Right. Yeah. I think that was for me personally, and I know a lot of other women have said this too, that was the biggest, most scary symptom. Cause I was one that I've always been a little, nervous about things, but not anxiety as much as it has been since I've gone through this perimenopause time. So very scary things kind of happen. Yeah.

Kari Goeden:

Yeah.

Kari Goeden:

Right. And I guess I'll touch on sleep too. I know a lot of this is like a lot of your listeners, I'm sure are very well educated and are listening to this podcast because they care about these topics. But I just have to underscore in mental health, any time of life, sleep is at the foundation of our mental health. And that is honestly one of the biggest things I'll prescribe quote unquote.

Kim Benoy:

Mm-hmm.

Kari Goeden:

To help women get back to feeling like themselves, we need to take sleep so seriously. Like it's your second job. Like I'm talking a really good sleep hygiene routine. Not having that whine at night that's gonna disrupt our sleep. Really doing some things to help make sleep our biggest priority. So sleep gets out of whack in perimenopause very often and that alone can lead to some really uncomfortable symptoms.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah, for sure. Can you talk a little bit more about the sleep hygiene? I've talked about it before in the podcast, but I'd love to get your take on it. Some, some ideas for us as we prepare for going to sleep at night.

Kari Goeden:

Yes, well the brain loves predictability. So it sounds kind of silly, but our brains love to know what's next. And so if we can have a routine, I'm always telling people you don't need something big and complex. I don't need to add any more stress to your plate. that would be counterproductive, right? But I want you to do a few simple things in the same order every night.

Kim Benoy:

Right.

Kari Goeden:

So your brain can know, okay, so it might look like maybe I sit on the couch and watch an episode of the favorite Netflix thing I'm binging with my partner, but that's not the whole night's activity. We're gonna do that and then, you know, by 8 p.m., maybe the TV gets shut off. And after that, it's, I'm gonna put on my pajamas, I'm gonna wash my face, I'm gonna have a cup of sleepy time tea, and I'm gonna read a chapter of my favorite book.

Kari Goeden:

Da-da, da-da, da-da, same thing every night. Now, Kim, I'll be real. It's not that I do this every single night. It's what I recommend. We're not striving for perfection. I want to be really clear on that. But if you can think of sleep hygiene in kind of a framework like that, that it's a few things done repetitively, that's really what our brains are looking for. And it is shutting off those screens.

Kim Benoy:

Right.

Kari Goeden:

An hour or even better two hours before we want to be in bed. If we can't do that, it's a blue light blocker glasses to help because that blue light really keeps us awake. So how do we do that or even have like a filter on our screens, like a red light filter so it's not that blue light in our eyeballs. So little, little shifts done consistently. That's really what sleep hygiene comes down to.

Kim Benoy:

Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah. It's so important. I was going to say the older I get, but I'm going to say the farther I go in my life journey, I realized, is that nice? I realized how important sleep is and it's, is, it's the base of everything that's going on right now. with me personally, I don't mean to keep bringing myself into this, but, but I'm sure there's a lot of women out there too that. Yeah. Yeah.

Kari Goeden:

I love that shit.

Kari Goeden:

If you have great tips though, bet some people would love to hear that because people do want to hear from real live women what they're doing and what's been working. So that's part of the community piece, right? Don't keep that stuff quiet. Let's share. Let's talk about it.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Right. And that again brings us back to the community and you are big on community and bringing women together. And you do that in a special way. You have, you actually do walks and talks. Is that what you call it? Tell us about that.

Kari Goeden:

I do. So a couple of different things. I guess I'll start with the bigger community piece. it is, wise women walking club still water? So this is something I started this last November and it was really born out of the second piece as my walk and talk therapy model.

Kari Goeden:

So I see women individually for both therapy and coaching. And we are typically walking here in Stillwater up and down the Browns Creek Trail or maybe the 100 stairs or maybe we're walking to Wisconsin, depending on the vibe that day. it is a method that can really take people's guard down. I tend to work with a lot of really high achieving women.

Kim Benoy:

Thank

Kari Goeden:

And with that comes a lot of perfectionism. And there is really something that can help women feel more at ease in themselves and with me when we're moving our bodies. And when we are side by side and not having that maybe more intense eye contact, right? That's why people talk about like, take your teenager on a car trip when you want to have your conversations.

Kim Benoy:

Sure.

Kim Benoy:

Yes.

Kari Goeden:

Or going for a walk with your partner. I'm always prescribing that to my couples. When you need to have your most heart-to-heart conversations or a difficult conversation, take your partner on a walk. If you need to have that phone call with somebody you're kind of dreading, go for a walk when you're doing that. And we all know it feels good, but there's so much science behind why it works. We pace when we're stressed, and that's not a coincidence.

Kim Benoy:

Mm-hmm.

Kari Goeden:

It's because when we move our feet, right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, it makes bilateral stimulation and connections between our left brain and our right brain. So that can help us come to decisions easier, work through our emotions easier, and tap into emotions that might be stuck. So walk and talk therapy and coaching, it is my preferred way of doing therapy. I'm a better therapist when I'm moving and I find my clients really can get in touch with things that they typically wouldn't if we were sitting in an office together on my couch. So we do that in walk and talk therapy and then also we've got Wise Woman Walking Club, which is of course a community of women. It's a free group twice a month on Sundays we get together and the hope is building connections and it's intergenerational. So

Kim Benoy:

Yeah.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah.

Kari Goeden:

We've got women anywhere from 16 all the way up to their 80s. And that's a big part of what I love is the wisdom. And there's a reason my company is called Wise Women Wellness because I feel, I know, I'm not gonna even say I feel. I know that each woman holds so much wisdom within her. And it's my hope that I can help dust that off and help women find it and help women find the answers to their own questions and their own desires.

Kim Benoy:

Wow.

Kari Goeden:

Within themselves. So there's a lot of wisdom in that walking group too.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah, I love that. And I love the science behind that. I've never heard that before. I just know that it's good to walk. It's good to move. But pairing it with that therapy situation to that makes a lot of sense. Yeah.

Kari Goeden:

Absolutely. Yeah, people open up a lot more and find that connection. Like in walking club, it's amazing the conversations that I engage in and that I observe women having on the trail, women that have just met each other. We're not talking small talk. Like most of the time people are sharing their life stories and like some really real things with absolute strangers. And that's, warms my heart like no other.

Kim Benoy:

Sure.

Kim Benoy:

Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah.

Kim Benoy:

I love that I talk a lot about connection and connecting with other people. And it sounds like that is one amazing way to just connect with someone so quickly.

Kari Goeden:

Yes, yes, it really brings down that barrier of we're strangers, we don't know each other because we're on the same path, literally. We're on a trail with the same goal of getting fresh air, moving our bodies. If you're at walking club, you're here looking for community. And so we're all in the same boat.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah, I love that. Love it. Let's go back to the point about looking within yourself as well, because that's another theme of midlife with courage. our messages to women are you have everything that you need inside of you. You just have to get back in there and find it.

Kim Benoy:

How does that relate to the mental health in this time of our life?

Kari Goeden:

Intuition is the word that's coming up for me. And I guess I'll go back to, you know, this idea that there's a reason why we pace, like it's in our bodies, right? There's also in our bodies, women's greatest superpower is our intuition. And it's been there from the beginning of time for very good reason.

Kari Goeden:

Right? We had to protect ourselves. We had to protect any offspring that we had. And so when women talk about, you know, in a therapy session or on the trail or just with friends or whatever, you know, my gut says this or, but then my head says this. Get into that gut. let's give your intuition more weight on this. The brain tries to talk us out of our intuition oftentimes. And I'm not saying there's not a place for the brain here. We need to connect the two, right? But I will say so often we can get...

Kim Benoy:

Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy:

Right.

Kari Goeden:

We can get into this place of shoulds. I should be doing this, I should this, I should that. I had a great supervisor many years ago in a supervision session. I started shoulding all over myself and said, stop shoulding all over yourself. It's not doing you any good. And so I asked my clients and women in my life, like, where are these messages coming from? You should do this. You should be this way. Is that yours or is that society?

Kim Benoy:

You...

Kari Goeden:

And I think so often the shoulds and the way we think things should be or we should show up come from messages and values that aren't even our own.

Kim Benoy:

Right. Right.

Kari Goeden:

You know? So tapping back into that intuition and as great as community is and a walk together, there is a definite time and place for a solo walk. And I'm talking without your phone, without music, without earbuds, like you and your tennis shoes and the trail and those are the times when we can get quiet and integrate our minds, our hearts, our spirits, and our bodies together that we're really able to tap into that intuition more easily. Getting quiet and moving.

Kim Benoy:

Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah, we have to shut off all that outside noise and just come back to ourselves and move. Yeah, that's...

Kari Goeden:

That's right. That's right. Because you have the answer. Most of the time, it's just we're too scared to admit it. Or our head gets in the way of all the reasons why that couldn't work or why I shouldn't explore that. But there is something as tricky of a time mental health wise as, and physically as perimonopause can be.

Kim Benoy:

Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy:

Mm-hmm.

Kari Goeden:

There is also such a gift in it because I think we can start to really tune out the things that don't matter to us and start tuning in to what really does matter and who we really are and what we really want this beautiful life to be all about. I don't know if you've heard this term, maybe you have, but I kind of like it. Cougar puberty.

Kim Benoy:

Hahaha.

Kari Goeden:

As if you're preparing mom-of-hours.

Kim Benoy:

I love that.

Kari Goeden:

And kind of the rebrand of, yes, people talk about how intense perimenopause is, but it's like, yes, yes and. It's intense and also powerful. Right? lot of power in that.

Kim Benoy:

Yes, I am.

Kim Benoy:

Yes, I love that, Kari. it's an amazing time of life when you really think about it, because you have this opportunity to basically do whatever the heck you want. You know, really, when it comes down to it, someone doesn't like that I left my job that I hated. I don't care. Okay. Or, you know what, I want to learn how to paint. Okay.

Kari Goeden:

That's right.

Kari Goeden:

Yeah. And? Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah, it's that's, it's liberating to me. That's how I've kind of discovered it. Yeah. Yeah. Another thing too, I was thinking as you were talking about the intuition and are the more I listen to my intuition, and I feel it in my body, the more I notice it, and the more it happens

Kari Goeden:

Yes, that's amazing. Yeah.

Kari Goeden:

Amazing.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah, so I think you have to practice it a little bit. It's not just, it just automatically happens. You have to start paying attention to it.

Kari Goeden:

Yes.

Kari Goeden:

Yes, there is a quote. I have a favorite author, Glennon Doyle, wrote a book called Untamed. Are you familiar?

Kim Benoy:

I have read that one, yeah.

Kari Goeden:

Yes, one of my favorite books. She has a quote that goes something like, the braver I get, the luckier I am. And that just reminds me of what you just said. Like to take the leap, I'm going to get brave and then good things continue to happen. My intuition keeps coming online. Like I keep getting these downloads and this encouragement that I am on the right path and just keep listening to yourself.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah.

Kim Benoy:

And then too Kari when that fear kind of sneaks in and you're kind of feeling it in your body, you can go, you know what, I got this. It's I literally will say I'm going to let that move through and then I'm going to move on.

Kari Goeden:

I love that. I love that. It has me thinking, you know, so often when we have, yeah, fear would be one of these like uncomfortable emotions, emotions that we don't want to be with. But there's this great phrase that I'm always sharing. don't know whose it is, but what you resist persists. And so the fact that you are allowing that fear, like,

Kim Benoy:

And it took me a while to get there. Yeah.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah.

Kim Benoy:

Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy:

Mm.

Kari Goeden:

Noticing it, welcoming it, hello, here you are. And I'm not gonna stuff it and I'm not gonna hang tight to it, but I will let it move through me. And then you're on the other side of it. You know, it's not the judgment about it or the I'm not gonna deal with it. Yep, I'm gonna let this move through me and then keep moving.

Kim Benoy:

Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah. Yeah. No.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah, it's just like acknowledging it. Yep. Yep. I see you. Okay. Next. Yeah. I've done some work around this. Yes. that's why I love to share not that it's like, I'm not the perfect person, but I'm sharing it so other women can hear about it too. And having you come on women like you come on and talk about it too is so important, I think so the more

Kari Goeden:

Yes, yes, exactly. It sounds like you've done some work around this. It sounds like you are on a journey. Love that.

Kari Goeden:

Thank you.

Kari Goeden:

Yeah.

Kim Benoy:

The more times we hear these messages, the better.

Kari Goeden:

You've got it. And I think that's really, as a therapist, as a woman, friend, sister, mom, I, a big value of mine is being raw and vulnerable and real and owning the fact that I don't have it all figured out. Nobody ever will. There's not this place where we're going to arrive and we feel like we've really got our stuff together. I mean, how boring would that be anyway? We're all on.

Kim Benoy:

Right.

Kari Goeden:

Journey of growing and hopefully we're going to continue growing until the day we die, right?

Kim Benoy:

Right. Exactly. And you know, just when I think I got it figured out, something else comes in and like, okay, pivot turn, whatever. Yeah.

Kari Goeden:

Right. Exactly. Okay. I'm still thinking. Yeah. And I think that can be really good modeling for the women and girls that will come after us, you know, and the ones that are younger that are looking up to us that we can admit that, yeah, we don't have it all figured out, but we're still going to talk about it. You know, we're going to be real about it and figure it out together.

Kim Benoy:

Right.

Kim Benoy:

Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy:

Mm I love that. So kind of along those lines, when you're having the walks with different age ranges, do you find the the younger women kind of congregate together or and the older women are together? Do they kind of mix a little bit?

Kari Goeden:

You know what I find? It's really interesting. Yes, certainly that does happen. You find a younger person and like, want to get to know them. and I guess I'll say so often it can be more about personality and somebody's vibe, somebody's energy that oftentimes I'll have, you know, a 60 year old and she is on a walk with a 20 year old or a 30 year old. And that is really

Kari Goeden:

For me, that's what it's all about because we've got so much to learn from people that came before us and people that come after us. If we can keep our minds open and flexible and take in new information and, gain that wisdom that each of us women has within ourselves, no matter what your age, there is just nothing like that. at the walks, I do say, you know, please find somebody new to walk with, somebody that you don't know.

Kari Goeden:

And so I think that does kind of encourage people out of their comfort zone a little bit to get to know somebody else. And actually at Walking Club, we gather beforehand at Lift Bridge Coworks Forum space. So it's a beautiful coworking space with an event center in the back. Right above Montpetit Chariot on Main Street Stillwater. It's a beautiful place to gather and

Kim Benoy:

Sure. Yeah.

Kim Benoy:

Nice.

Kim Benoy:

Okay.

Kari Goeden:

We purposely spend an hour together before we get on the walk, grabbing your coffee, coming upstairs and just getting to know some new people. And I've got what's called a speed chat. It kind of looks like a bingo card, but it's got nine different boxes. And the deal is find somebody who's holding a speed chat sheet and then ask them the question on there and get their name. And it's.

Kim Benoy:

Awesome.

Kari Goeden:

We try to go a little bit deeper. So it's not just what's your favorite color. It's like, what was the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you recently? What are you most proud of in the last year? If you could vacation anywhere in the world, where would it be? What's the best book you've read recently and why? So that can kind of break down those barriers too and find common ground between women of all different ages.

Kim Benoy:

Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy:

Sure.

Kim Benoy:

It is more than just going for a walk together. I love that. Wonderful. Wonderful. Yeah, that's so important, especially in midlife. So you also have a podcast that you do with another therapist, Kamila Tell us about that. I've been watching your episodes are really cute.

Kari Goeden:

Yeah, some relationship building

Kari Goeden:

Yes, yes. Yes. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, it's called This Is Not Therapy, hosted by two married family therapists. So the hope is that we can talk about some real topics that are affecting our listeners and be really raw and real and share a little bit more than we might in our therapy sessions, right?

Kim Benoy:

Yeah.

Kim Benoy:

Mm-hmm.

Kari Goeden:

And by inviting some of these more vulnerable conversations, our hope is that it's going to, you know, maybe you listen to a podcast on something and you share it with a girlfriend that like, my gosh, they totally normalized this thing that I've been wondering about, or I've been experiencing. And maybe it's a conversation starter between you and your girlfriend or in relationships, you know, hopefully somebody will listen and share it with a partner.

Kim Benoy:

Sure.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah.

Kari Goeden:

Yeah, we talk about all sorts of things that affect primarily women and what it's like being a woman in the world right now and the struggles and the things that we celebrate. And there's always some tidbits to walk away with. It's a casual conversation and it's fun and we swear and we're silly and it's not clinical. Everything's off the clinical record.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah.

Kari Goeden:

And you also typically walk away with you've learned something too.

Kim Benoy:

Right? Yeah, I would encourage listeners to check that out. This is not therapy. It's, on YouTube. So we'll, put the link in our show notes for them to find that. So as we're wrapping up here let's go back to the mental health topic. What would be your advice to any midlife woman listening out there who's struggling with mental health or wants to do something to make sure that she's paying attention to her mental health. What would be something that you would recommend?

Kari Goeden:

Thank

Kari Goeden:

Coming from a therapist, isn't going to surprise you, but find yourself a good therapist before you need her. Before you need her. So honestly, I'm encouraging everybody that's listening right now, even if you are in a great spot in your life right now, things are going swimmingly and there's nothing that you feel you need professional support on, identify someone that when the time comes, not if, but when the time comes that shit hits the fan and I need some support. I've got her number. I've got her email address. I already know who I'm going to go to for support. Because there is nothing harder than trying to find support and good support when you are already in the thick of it and you feel like you're overwhelmed and you're drowning and you don't have time to eat lunch, let alone try to find a therapist. So find a good therapist.

Kari Goeden:

Spread the word. Like maybe in the group chat you open it up to girlfriends and say, hey, does anybody have a good therapist recommendation? If not, like this is my goal and I think we should all find somebody for when the time comes. Midlife is a time where our lives can really be rocked. Like I said, from a identity standpoint, all of the different roles that we're in.

Kim Benoy:

Right.

Kari Goeden:

New roles and hormonally. So everyone deserves support. my real hope Kim is that, and we're moving in the right direction, but is that everybody treats their mental health as seriously as we would our physical health. Because there is no, I know this is wild, but there is no difference.

Kim Benoy:

Mm-hmm.

Kari Goeden:

If our mental health is not in a good place, then our physical health is going to follow and vice versa. If our physical health is in a bad place, our mental health will follow. We are all connected, mind, body, spirit, all of it. So yeah, even just a checkup with a therapist a couple times a year would be phenomenal. And I really do see us trending in that direction. I think it is going to become so much more normalized and encouraged.

Kim Benoy:

No.

Kim Benoy:

Good. That was my next thought was I'm hoping that it has meant seeking help for mental health has been such a stigma. Oh, you shouldn't be doing that. That's, know, hide that you don't want to do that, but I'm hoping that it's, sounds like you're saying it is coming back around to people paying more attention to it. Good.

Kari Goeden:

Is.

Kari Goeden:

It is. I'm seeing that with women of all ages and with couples. You know, I'm always telling couples like get in here or find somebody before your marriage or relationship depends on it. You know, let's nurture our relationships and our mental health just like we would a child, just like we would our physical health. It's just as important. So, yeah, that's really my hope. I will also make a big plug for community.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah.

Kari Goeden:

Um, our world, I'll make it more narrow. Actually, our country the surgeon general has named us in the U S to be in a loneliness epidemic. Epidemic, like seriously surgeon general. And what that means is 50 % of adults would consider themselves to be lonely and

Kim Benoy:

Mmm.

Kim Benoy:

Hmm.

Kari Goeden:

When we are lonely, it not only has a mental health effect, but a physical effect. Like I said, they're connected. And this stat really, really hit home for me. The impact on our physical health from loneliness is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Right? Right?

Kim Benoy:

Wow.

Kim Benoy:

Wow. That's crazy. So it is important.

Kari Goeden:

Yeah. Yeah. We need each other. We need each other. Yeah, we live in such individualistic societies now, and that's not what our bodies are used to. You know, our villages aren't really there anymore. Intergenerational homes aren't quite as popular anymore, and our bodies aren't built for that, and our spirits aren't built for that. So to women in midlife make it a goal to create your village. And even if those are virtual connections, they don't always have to be in person, because I know that's tricky, but let's make it a real priority to check in on one another and have some regular connection points. Because our mental health, our physical health depends on it. It's not a luxury, it is a necessity.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah, it is a necessity. Yeah, it's, shouldn't be the, I'll take care of that later. It should be. Nope. This is very important. So, yeah. my gosh, Kari. I love that you're spreading that message and I'm glad that we could do that through this podcast as well. do you have a website or is there anything else besides the YouTube podcast that you want us to share with the listeners?

Kari Goeden:

Great.

Kari Goeden:

Beautiful conference.

Kari Goeden:

Yes, please. So this is not therapy. Drops a new episode every Thursday and that can be found on both Spotify and YouTube. Wise Woman Walking Club and I should go back and say this is not therapy. You can find us on Instagram, so please follow along for updates there. Wise Woman Walking Club Still Water is also on Instagram and it's open to women from all over. It doesn't have to just be Still Water. That's just where it happens and it's a free group so.

Kari Goeden:

Please do follow us on Instagram there. My website, www.wisewomxnwellness.com. The tricky part here is the women is spelled a little differently to get your attention. It's W-O-M-X-N. So wisewomenwellness.com. We're also on Instagram as well.

Kim Benoy:

Yes.

Kari Goeden:

And we've got a great newsletter, The Wise Woman Weekly will keep you in the loop in terms of podcast updates, walking club updates, and some supportive and fun content too. So check that out on our website as well.

Kim Benoy:

Awesome. Yeah, I would encourage listeners to check that out. And if you live in the Stillwater, Minnesota area, check into that walking club. have to ask as someone who doesn't really walk very far, how long do you generally walk?

Kari Goeden:

It's a great question and people ask that all the time. We walk for about an hour. However, that is totally up to the individual walker. So there are benches along the way. Sometimes people will walk part way and then stop on the bench and have a conversation and then catch up with the rest of the group when they come back. So it's really not about distance as much as it is about, you know, we'll walk 30 minutes one way and 30 minutes back. So I'll have you back in an hour.

Kim Benoy:

Yeah.

Kim Benoy:

Okay.

Kari Goeden:

And there's women walking at all different paces. So you can always find someone that wants to walk at your pace.

Kim Benoy:

Sure.

Kim Benoy:

Nice. Do people bring their dogs too? I think I saw some photos. Yeah. Yeah.

Kari Goeden:

Yes, I'm glad you asked. That's some of the most fun. Yeah, we have a couple of regular dogs that are joining us just about every time. So they're always

Kim Benoy:

Okay. Okay. Well, you might see me there. There are one of these Sundays, So Kari, thank you so much for joining me today. I hope the listeners will hear our messages of reaching out for help, joining a community, just reach out for sure.

Kari Goeden:

That's right. Vulnerability is strength.

Kim Benoy:

Thank you so much. will talk to you soon.

Kari Goeden:

And take care.

Kim Benoy:

Thank you for listening to Midlife with Courage. If you liked what you heard, I would love it if you would leave a review. Or even better, send a link of this episode to a friend. Until next time, take care of your beautiful self.